seconds

Being first is so overrated.

Desperation in a competition to get the first place;
are human achievements only measured by titles?

Desperation to win the first place in someone's heart;
why can't you learn to be happy with your special place in that person's heart?

Desperation to be the first of a list;
just so everyone below can look up at you and go 'wow' - and then?

I think seconds are beautiful.

Fuck first times.

It's your first, you screw it up;
the second will be much more beautiful.

First chances seem like miracles;
but second chances mean much, much more.

First impressions are overrated;
I like the person deep inside - that special second layer.

Thoughts Unsaid Then Forgotten

Sometimes, in the midst of friendships that are falling apart and relationships that were doomed from the very beginning, you get something rare and precious that you never want to let go of. Romance is good, it's wonderful, it satisfies you like nothing else does- but true friends, they're the ones who will be there when everything else ends. It sounds so cliche, it's been said so many times that people lost count a long, long time ago. But all cliches are cliches because they're true.

It is difficult, to give more than you take. It's almost impossible to trust more than you are trusted. But when you strike that balance between giving and taking, trusting and being trusted, never doubt it. That's when you've found the sort of friendship that lasts and lasts and lasts, and even through times when you drift apart a little, you rediscover each other after that and it's so much more awesome than before.

Thank you, for being there. Here, I mean- here for me.

Though they say friendship between girls is never without bitching and backstabbing, I like to think that it's okay to do that when everything is revealed later, and neither one has hard feelings. That's why you have friends. They forgive, and they do not forget, so that the next time it will be easier to bear.

Remember that, you (me?). When everything you cherish seems like it's going to fizzle out, remember that there is always someone out there who will give you a band-aid and tell you to cheer up, just when you need it the most.

lonely? not.

Have always been afraid of being alone.

Would rather die than to be all alone in the world;
with no other person existing beside me.

Very grateful for that certain someone who's here for me right now.
No, not that certain someone - another certain someone :)

I hope you have your other certain someone too!

If not, at least - you'll have me.

I'll be here for you, do you hear me?

life goes on, but some things can stay;

I always smiled at them.

Smiled when they held each other,
smiled when they supported each other through dark times,
smiled when they smiled at me,
smiled when they smiled at each other,
smiled when they were together.

I can't seem to smile now.

I'm sure they still support each other,
that they smile at each other.

They still smile at me, but I miss them as them.

But who am I to say anything?
Life brings us to different paths, different forks on the paths.
People meet, people bid each other farewell -
in more ways than I can imagine.

To you out there
I know you're appreciating as much as you can;

don't forget to appreciate them.

Love for a Foreign Planet

I asked a friend something, today. If you're really gay, I said, then why don't you check out guys? He gave me this sad, sweet smile, and said: Because I'm not homosexual, I'm K*sexual. K, his late boyfriend. I felt awful after I asked, because it brought back all that bittersweet nostalgia. He has been so unfailingly loyal, and thinking of all the ways that he was hurt because of that love makes me feel guilty about complaining about my own difficulties--

But my dear.. How would you handle loving someone you're not supposed to love? Whether it's because that someone would be better off without your love, or if the sort of love you have is just not accepted in society. I don't know what I'm doing even at the best of times. I wonder how you would deal with it.

Have you ever been in love? Isn't it horrible? The love that I have now, is like loving a foreign planet. I don't understand anything. Maybe if I reach out to you, and we connected, some strange understanding would happen. Maybe I will finally get it.

Maybe I am only dreaming.

*name changed for privacy issues

Sign

Is there someone like this in your life? Someone who breaks your heart at every turn, with every innocent sentence they speak, every fleeting touch they think means nothing.. I wish there would be warnings, when you have relationships with these people. This person will be painful, or This individual has the potential to be everything, or even This is heartbreak.

I lost my space when I lost this person. I can't move. I can't go anywhere.

that time of the morning;

It's 3.
It's raining.

I don't think the world has been more silent at any other hour.

The raindrops are calling out to me;
trying to calm my shaking fear -

my fear of loneliness.

Maybe if you were there,
maybe if I heard you,
maybe if you heard me,

I'd feel a lot less lonely right now.

Do you hear me?